• Home
  • Art
  • Blog
  • About
  • Contact
  • Available
Menu

Beth Dougherty

  • Home
  • Art
  • Blog
  • About
  • Contact
  • Available
×
My art journal page from the day I auditioned for "Inherit the Wind." Coincidence? I think not.

My art journal page from the day I auditioned for "Inherit the Wind." Coincidence? I think not.

The Street that Leads to Fun

beth Dougherty February 4, 2018

Its been a month since my last blog post. Thank you dear reader for even remembering me. In a world that delivers the same news and advertisements to your inbox three times a day, I am grateful if this infrequent blog post makes it through the noise! I want to tell you what I have been thinking about and doing this past month.

If you read my last blog, I know millions of you did, I was writing about making permanent changes this year instead of New Year's resolutions. I think often of the things I want to accomplish in this life and wonder why those things seem to come so slowly. You could say I need more patience or you could say I need to go about it differently. Different is the keyword here and that is what I was trying to hit upon with the poem about taking a different street (read post here). 

So, what does different mean? Instead of thinking in terms of things to accomplish this year I am trying to do things that bring me joy. It seems a simple thing but for me it is really hard. Usually, I orient my day toward "What am I supposed to be doing to accomplish x, y, or z?" I guess it is my upbringing or maybe a factory setting, but for some reason I am usually nose to the grindstone, working hard and seriously at whatever I am doing. Going for the joy is radical thinking and a total identity shift.

This year instead of asking what should I be doing to advance my art career or earn money, etc. I am asking what will bring me joy today? What am I thankful for? What will put me in alignment with God? I am trying to change my "future-thinking" habit (more on that another day) to present "I am" thinking. 

So what does that look like? Right now, it is something totally new.

Since being in Germany we have had many new opportunities other than travel. My kids have been active this year in the Kaiserslautern military community theater and that has inspired me. Starting last fall I have been helping make props and paint sets for their show. It has been really fun! I have tried to be very careful and only do what is fun and not over volunteer.

This past month, I actually auditioned for the upcoming play "Inherit the Wind." I got a part! I was nervous as hell but I did it. I overcame my fear. We have had a few practices and it has been a blast. When you do something you want to do even though you are scared to death it is such a great feeling. No matter what happens, you know you have grown larger and that can't be taken away from you, even if the outcome is not what you expected. I have also put in a lot of hours painting faux cathedral walls, wallpapering and painting a jukebox. All these things have gotten me nowhere in my art career or whatever else I have been "seriously" pursuing – but it has been a lot of fun! Painting the props and sets is very satisfying. There is a great feeling of accomplishment to be able to look at something you painted on stage and say "Wow, I did that!"

So far this year that seems to be my different street. I am trying to ask myself often, throughout every day if what I am doing is bringing me joy. I still have to unload the dishwasher, clean the kitty litter, ferry the kids back and forth, etc.  and do things that aren't considered joyful but I am happier doing those things when I have been having more fun in the day. And I am more playful with my kids!

I have attached some photos of recent theater stuff.

Question for you: What brings you joy? There are 9 billion people on this planet there must be 9 billion different ways to have fun. What makes you smile? I want to know so please leave a comment below.

Until next time, I am off to do some laundry and make a papier maché hookah for the "Alice In Wonderland" production. Sounds like fun to me!

Beth :-)

Cathedral walls for Sister Act, in progress.

Cathedral walls for Sister Act, in progress.

Styrofoam Jukebox before & after

Styrofoam Jukebox before & after

Some well loved brushes in the theater workshop.

Some well loved brushes in the theater workshop.

In lifestyleblog, art blog, venice, self love, joyful living, personal development, Change, creative blog, Personal growth, New life experience, creative living Tags self forgiveness, painting blog, self worth, joy, art, new year's resolutions, new life, self love, fun, props, identity, theater, artist, life experience, paitning
Comment
The Red Vineyard at Arles, Vincent Van Gogh (the only painting he sold in his lifetime)

The Red Vineyard at Arles, Vincent Van Gogh (the only painting he sold in his lifetime)

What Often Vexes Me...

beth Dougherty April 21, 2017

What often vexes me is that painting is like having a bad mistress...

Read More
In Diary, self love, Creativity, fine art, painting, art blog, creative blog, Daily painting, painting blog, creative living Tags painting, Vangogh, self worth, painting blog, self forgiveness, Life, art, plein air, creativity, self love, daily painting, orginal artwork, Artist life blog, Art blog, oil painting, bright colors
Comment
9x12" Mixed media on paper

9x12" Mixed media on paper

Monday Morning Fear Check...

beth Dougherty December 5, 2016

I am in a lucky place in my life right now. I have no crazy obligations and my husband is not screaming at me to get a part time job. I really have all day to paint, I just have to do it. 

Yet again, I feel I am standing on the edge of a cliff. I can step into my dreams, into my joy- yet I hesitate. When I say it aloud logically it's not a monumental or scary thing. Leap, create, paint, do what you have been saying you always wanted to do. Emotionally, as I sit here and contemplate painting or making art, that old fear rises and my stomach feels queasy. 

"Committ, to you my love? "

I know who's here, it's my old nemesis Resistance. It's been beating me for 25 years, always coming up with a cunning excuse or new argument for why it's stupid to chase my dreams. All I can do is take it day by day like an alcoholic. God grant me the courage to create today- to slap resistance off my back.

Maybe that is why  "artist" seems to be a negative archetype. The daily inner battle of resistance and fear - so I repeat my mantra: 

I love myself... I love myself... I love myself... l love...

love...

In mixed media, self love, self help, Rumi, creative blog, creative living, New life experience, painting, Creativity, art blog Tags self forgiveness, Sadness, mixed media, abstract painting, creativity, mixed-media, personal blog, Artist life blog, painting, vulnerability, self love, blue + white, daily painting, Art blog, Life, artistic life, Rumi
Comment

"The Drama of Adolescence" - mix media on paper, Beth Dougherty 2016

On Self Forgiveness and Lack of Oxygen

beth Dougherty October 5, 2016

What is this creative blog becoming?
Lately, it is moving toward a personal journal of reflections. I guess that is what happens when you do not have your art supplies to post about...

This past month I have had really bad hip and neck pain. I have not done yoga regularly since the beginning of summer and decided that I could put it off no longer. (Resistance always kicks my butt!) As I lay there on the floor (no yoga mat) after all the gentle stretching and a lot of movements that involved opening and stretching my throat, I was suddenly flooded with emotion and tears. All these memories flashed in my mind of stupid things I did in high school and college. I felt so bad for the people I hurt back then. To be fair, it was nothing more than the immature dramatics of a 19 or 20 year old girl dating or trying to feel better about herself. I was playing at relationships - playing the part of a soap opera actress!

But, as I lay there starting to beat myself up again, I had a small shift. Something told me to quit thinking about it, forgive, myself and let it go.
How many times have I beat myself up for something that someone else may not even remember? How many times have I tamped down my joy because my sadistic ego throws these memories at me randomly and I beat myself up all over again? How many times? Too many to count. Does that happen to you? Are you sailing along and then you get assaulted with the guilt of some past transgression that in the scheme of life does not even matter anymore? These are the things that eat at my self worth. 

BUT today, I had a small shift. Instead of the usual shame spiral, this time I told myself it was okay. If I am going to be open to receiving more love in my life I have to also be open to more self love. "It is okay. Forgive yourself!" I thought. And the tears became a release I could feel in the tension that was melting out of my neck.
Would I beat either of my young daughters up for the next twenty years for some stupid mistake? No, I would say "You were young, you were just learning how to be an adult. Look at you now! Look how far you have come and what a good person you are." So I did myself the same favor this morning. The 45 year old mother in me told the 19 year old child in me to forgive myself and let it go. Then I did.
I also thought about the wrongs that were done to me at that time. I honestly could not feel any anger or harbor any bad feelings toward those people either. They were forgiven long ago.  I always knew at the time we were all just doing the best we could do and muddling through adolescence. I am sorry it took me so long to forgive myself for things that I readily forgave in other people.  Ahhh! Deep breath, I forgive myself for being young and stupid. I let myself off the hook and I am now officially moving on!

Is that just the way of things? Are we willing to look over things in others that we judge ourselves so harshly by? We could save ourselves so much trouble and hurry the process along for everyone if we just reversed things a bit.

Generosity, forgiveness and love to ourselves first = generosity, forgiveness and love to others!

As they always caution on airplanes, you are supposed to put your oxygen mask on first before you help others. If we did that in life we would probably do a lot less damage to other people - You know– lack of oxygen causes brain damage...

 

In self love, forgiveness, self help Tags self forgiveness, self love, personal blog
4 Comments
beth dougherty.jpg
“Hello!
My name is
Beth Dougherty.
This blog is about
making art & making sense out of life.”
Blog RSS

Subscribe to the Blog

We respect your privacy.

Thank you!
Post Archive
  • 2015
  • 2016
  • 2017
  • 2018
  • 2019
  • 2020
  • 2021
  • 2022

Powered by Squarespace