Future-Thinking is Keeping You in the Past

I am a chronic future-thinker. Perhaps you are too? Future-thinking means always looking to get or do things in that elusive future date.

A general example is "When I make more money I will take that class or that trip I have always wanted to." Some things I always say to myself are "When I am finally painting and making money from my art work I will buy those bigger canvases I need for that series." or "When I have painted longer and sold more THEN I will explore how to lead a workshop." or my favorite go to "When I am selling paintings and making money I will finally stop feeling guilty for not having a real job."

The fault of the future-thinking premise is that of course there will never be a future in that sense. There is only the present moment. The present moment is where we actually operate from and make decisions that affect our "future." Future-thinking is actually thinking motivated by scarcity and feeling that you don't deserve something because you are telling yourself that whatever you want you don't have but hope to in the future. Again, it's never the future, its always the present moment. So you never actually get what your future-thinking self wants. Confusing, huh?

To make a mental shift we have to realize that we already are whatever it is that we want. We have to make decisions from that place instead of the future. 

Example: "I am going to configure my budget (or get on a budget) so I can take that class or trip I want to.",   "I am going to buy bigger canvases for the painting series I am doing because it will help my goals as an artist." or "I am going to explore leading an art workshop because I am a painter." or "Painting is my real job and the more I do it the more successful I become."

Rewording the future-thinking makes me feel better immediately! Try it yourself by filling in your own blanks:
"I am going to ________ because I am _______" or
"I am going to _________ because it makes me feel __________."
"I am exploring _____________ now because it will be fun."

Personally, I am working on getting out of the habit of future thinking. We can't put off our happiness and yearnings to retirement or when the kids get older or when you lose 20 pounds. We are worthy of what we want now simply because we choose it. What are you choosing today?

Do you fall prone to future-thinking too?
Leave me a comment and let's talk.

Until next time,
Beth

Honest Reflection On a Hole in the Street

It's January 4th and I am sitting here doing a mental round-up of the past year and contemplating my goals for the future.  

I have been putting off this self-reflection because the (depressing) truth is that there might have been small changes this year and years past but really, I am still in the same place in my art life that I have been for years. Essentially, I have a pattern of one step forward and two to three steps back. I have good intentions but how is it - without making too many excuses- that I find myself in almost the same place I've always been at?

What makes me uncomfortable to admit is that though my intentions are good or the vague goals I set are good, I am actually just living out a series of habituated, auto-pilot behaviors. 

This year I did paint a lot more, I did sell more paintings (18) and I posted more. But, I did not sustain it and I allowed my usual insecurities about money and worthiness to get in the way of painting, selling, posting and enjoying it even more. 

I used to say frequently to myself "I don't want to be 60 years old and still complaining that I don't have time to do "my" art." It occurred to me in this time of contemplation that 60 years old is only 14 years away!! (Gulp) What am I waiting on to really get this off the ground and accomplish the things I want to? I am not content to keep going in the same way that I have been, because inside I am unsettled and know I could be doing more. I don't want to regret all the ideas and pictures in my head that I am not allowing to come to life because of fear or complacency. 

I think what is really at the heart of it all is that I don't truly, down deep inside, believe it is available to me. I don't believe that having this life of my dreams (successful, money making artist and teacher) is an option. I could try to figure out why I feel that way and go over all the possible reasons but that does not change anything and only makes me think that negative thought even more. Instead of reinforcing that belief I need to change it. If a belief is just a thought you think over and over again, I need to reprogram myself with some new beliefs.

This poem by Portia Nelson sums things up beautifully:

THERE’S A HOLE IN MY SIDEWALK
Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

Chapter One
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost …. I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter Two
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend that I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in this same place.
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter Three
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in … it’s a habit … but, my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter Four
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter Five
I walk down another street.

I think I am teetering between chapters four and five. I am at the corner, I see the hole. I am standing here biting my nails, looking at the hole and also trying to see down the other street. The other street's view is obstructed so I don't exactly know what is down there. That's what makes taking it so scary and why I am hesitating about which way to go.

Can I live consciously in a way that will take me out of auto-pilot and down a brand new street?
Do I have the courage to try and live the joyful life I want?

All it requires is one step, but in which direction?

What are you contemplating for the new year? Leave me a comment and we'll talk!
Wishing you a lovely 2018,
Beth