Parents Rejoice - School's In...Peace of Mind Is Restored

Here I sit in limbo. I'm back in my studio surrounded by stacks of finished paintings and half finished pieces that are also in limbo, forgotten still life set-ups I could never make interesting and a pile of junk that has slowly accumulated all summer because there was no place else for it to go. 

This happens every year. At some point my steady creative output stops. Usually it coincides with summer and the kids getting out of school. That long relished break from schedules and committments turns into something else. I always have good intentions, I am going to keep a sketchbook or something like that but I usually end up literally closing the door (the studio door) on that part of my life.  

Then every year about the end of August I feel crazy and totally off center. It is always comes out of the blue and is always a mystery to me. I can't wait for school to start again so I can have time alone to think. The excitement of May and June quickly turns into the despair and depression of late August.  

It happens every year and yet I somehow forget. Then it dawns on me, just like its the first time - "Oh! Its the work! Life is not dramatic and melancholy. It's just time to get back to work - back to creating." Then relief sets in, creative plans are made, hope is restored! I'll ease back into my art the same way I'll ease back into exercise and healthy eating! (LOL)

Life has seasons. Nature knows this and takes its break in winter. Somehow, I always forget this important cycle and I am hard on myself. Not only plants but people and ideas need time to take root too.

Just like the rose awakens in March and pushes out its green tendrils, I am waking up after summer. I'm getting ready to put out some tendrils of my own and dreaming of blossoms to come. Now, instead of depression I am excited for this new season!

What do you look forward to in fall? Football? Cooler weather? Do you have new things starting that have been put off all summer too? Let me know by responding to this blog.

Thanks for reading!
Talk to you later,
Beth

another stack of paintings...

Future-Thinking is Keeping You in the Past

I am a chronic future-thinker. Perhaps you are too? Future-thinking means always looking to get or do things in that elusive future date.

A general example is "When I make more money I will take that class or that trip I have always wanted to." Some things I always say to myself are "When I am finally painting and making money from my art work I will buy those bigger canvases I need for that series." or "When I have painted longer and sold more THEN I will explore how to lead a workshop." or my favorite go to "When I am selling paintings and making money I will finally stop feeling guilty for not having a real job."

The fault of the future-thinking premise is that of course there will never be a future in that sense. There is only the present moment. The present moment is where we actually operate from and make decisions that affect our "future." Future-thinking is actually thinking motivated by scarcity and feeling that you don't deserve something because you are telling yourself that whatever you want you don't have but hope to in the future. Again, it's never the future, its always the present moment. So you never actually get what your future-thinking self wants. Confusing, huh?

To make a mental shift we have to realize that we already are whatever it is that we want. We have to make decisions from that place instead of the future. 

Example: "I am going to configure my budget (or get on a budget) so I can take that class or trip I want to.",   "I am going to buy bigger canvases for the painting series I am doing because it will help my goals as an artist." or "I am going to explore leading an art workshop because I am a painter." or "Painting is my real job and the more I do it the more successful I become."

Rewording the future-thinking makes me feel better immediately! Try it yourself by filling in your own blanks:
"I am going to ________ because I am _______" or
"I am going to _________ because it makes me feel __________."
"I am exploring _____________ now because it will be fun."

Personally, I am working on getting out of the habit of future thinking. We can't put off our happiness and yearnings to retirement or when the kids get older or when you lose 20 pounds. We are worthy of what we want now simply because we choose it. What are you choosing today?

Do you fall prone to future-thinking too?
Leave me a comment and let's talk.

Until next time,
Beth

Honest Reflection On a Hole in the Street

It's January 4th and I am sitting here doing a mental round-up of the past year and contemplating my goals for the future.  

I have been putting off this self-reflection because the (depressing) truth is that there might have been small changes this year and years past but really, I am still in the same place in my art life that I have been for years. Essentially, I have a pattern of one step forward and two to three steps back. I have good intentions but how is it - without making too many excuses- that I find myself in almost the same place I've always been at?

What makes me uncomfortable to admit is that though my intentions are good or the vague goals I set are good, I am actually just living out a series of habituated, auto-pilot behaviors. 

This year I did paint a lot more, I did sell more paintings (18) and I posted more. But, I did not sustain it and I allowed my usual insecurities about money and worthiness to get in the way of painting, selling, posting and enjoying it even more. 

I used to say frequently to myself "I don't want to be 60 years old and still complaining that I don't have time to do "my" art." It occurred to me in this time of contemplation that 60 years old is only 14 years away!! (Gulp) What am I waiting on to really get this off the ground and accomplish the things I want to? I am not content to keep going in the same way that I have been, because inside I am unsettled and know I could be doing more. I don't want to regret all the ideas and pictures in my head that I am not allowing to come to life because of fear or complacency. 

I think what is really at the heart of it all is that I don't truly, down deep inside, believe it is available to me. I don't believe that having this life of my dreams (successful, money making artist and teacher) is an option. I could try to figure out why I feel that way and go over all the possible reasons but that does not change anything and only makes me think that negative thought even more. Instead of reinforcing that belief I need to change it. If a belief is just a thought you think over and over again, I need to reprogram myself with some new beliefs.

This poem by Portia Nelson sums things up beautifully:

THERE’S A HOLE IN MY SIDEWALK
Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

Chapter One
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost …. I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter Two
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend that I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in this same place.
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter Three
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in … it’s a habit … but, my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter Four
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter Five
I walk down another street.

I think I am teetering between chapters four and five. I am at the corner, I see the hole. I am standing here biting my nails, looking at the hole and also trying to see down the other street. The other street's view is obstructed so I don't exactly know what is down there. That's what makes taking it so scary and why I am hesitating about which way to go.

Can I live consciously in a way that will take me out of auto-pilot and down a brand new street?
Do I have the courage to try and live the joyful life I want?

All it requires is one step, but in which direction?

What are you contemplating for the new year? Leave me a comment and we'll talk!
Wishing you a lovely 2018,
Beth

New School Year, Second Chance

I don't know about you but I always feel like the beginning of the school year is my chance to revisit and re-energize all those New Year's resolutions I made last January and have slowly let go of. I did not totally drop the ball but it is hard to focus on your to-do list when you have kids on summer vacation, wonderful family visitors and all the good beer and weather of a German summer.

Summer play time also brings good ideas. I visited a lot of beautiful places this summer, some famous and some not. All those images in my brain have to go somewhere - hopefully they will show up on a canvas this winter. 

My obsession with painting chickens is slowing down as I prepare for the next series I have in mind. It is going to be a lot more complicated than what I currently paint so I am summoning the courage to actually do it and not keep putting it off (it combines portraits and birds).

This year I also need to focus on actually selling artwork!
I imagine a lot of artists have this goal. I plan to research online marketing, ramp up social media and basically market myself which is really scary to an introvert like me. This month I am showing all my chicken paintings in the local library on Vogelweh Base here in Germany - which is a start in the right direction.

Next up - paint, paint, paint!

As I ease back into regular blog posts, here are a few art related posts from the summer.

Please leave a comment and let me know: How was your summer? What are you hoping to get done this fall?

Until next time,
Beth :-)

The beginning of yet another chicken... 

This little watercolor sketch was from the pool. Can you see the man that was in front of me? 

Giant tile mosaic in the Paris metro. 

Comparison Poison & My 10 Favorite Artists on Instagram

So lately I have been totally addicted to Instagram. There are so many artists and so much art, its obvious I was going to get sucked in. Yes, I know I am a little late to the party, IG is already saturated with art. There are millions of prolific artists all over the world posting daily. Most of the time it is really interesting to to see what people are working on.

For artists this is all brand new. It used to be that you had to search out other artists in guilds, classes or clubs. You had to buy expensive art magazines to see what the most elite group of artists were doing. If you were a new artist still honing your talent, forget it, you were stuck alone in your basement or at your kitchen table until you felt good enough about your work to put yourself out there.

Don't get me wrong, IG will never replace the authentic camaraderie and support you get from actual physical interaction with other artists. But it does democratize the system a bit, you no longer have to be represented by a gallery to show the world your art.

Here's the catch - as I scroll and scroll through my feed and see so much art - the good, the bad and the ugly included - it's hard not to get lost in all the noise. There are so many pictures posted every second that I can easily get down on myself. It seems so futile to post one of my own pictures, who is going to see it anyway?

There are so many amazing artists posting that I find myself playing the comparison game. I am really not even sure what I am comparing myself to. Other artists seem to be selling so many paintings, entering so many juried shows and relaxing with coffee in their amazing studios. My brain tells me this is their curated "highlight" reel but I still find myself comparing. 

In some situations you have to compare to know what you are getting but with social media comparison leads to jealousy and unhappiness. Comparison is all about ego and competition. What am I jealous of? Of other people's talent? Of their success? of their good? Maybe all of it. Wow, sounds shallow of me but aren't we all guilty of this on some level, social media or not?

Jealousy will always block our own prosperity, spiritual as well as financial.

How do you get out of that insidious comparison rabbit hole and recognize your own prosperity? By reminding yourself that its not a competition. Fear is the root of comparison. We are avoiding ourselves and focused on the other because we are afraid that even if we give it our all, it won't be enough.

How do we heal that fear? Hit it with love. Love your life. Love yourself, you are enough. Be grateful for your own good. When you are full of gratitude for what you have and do it is hard to be jealous and compare yourself to others.

When you are full of gratitude then you can look at Instagram and other social media for fun, to be inspired, to get new ideas and feel in community with others. "I am grateful and happy with my life!" that is what I have to remind myself when I am tempted to compare.

In the spirit of gratitude and inspiration here are my top ten favorite artists on Instagram. Click on the links to see their feed.

Ashley Longshore: This artist is ireverant and funny. She promotes self empowerment in a way that's fun. I love her art too.

Alex Callaway: This artists' still lifes are unbelieveably beautiful!

Lisaeks: Lisa Ekstrom's abstracts are simply wonderful.

Churchgoinmule: Artist Marshall Blevins' drawings and mixed media art (often including a mule) are lively and fun with a heavy emphasis on NOLA . 

Vanessa Cooper: I wish I could paint like this artist. I love how she incorporates birds, flowers and china in her paintings.

Gingerwoodturner: Franz Keilhofer makes beautiful wooden bowls. Plus I like seeing his big red beard frequently covered in sawdust.

Susan_Obyrne_Ceramics: I have a thing for Susan O'Byrne's ceramic animal heads. She takes faux taxidermy to a new level

Embroidery: Jenny Hart of Sublime Stitching is making embroidery cool again! 

Curvilinear: Amy Abshier's lonely paintings of women are characters that make you want to read their stories.

TrudyHarleyArt: This realist still life painter dangles everything by a string except her talent.

Augustwren: Jennifer Orkin Lewis has done so much with a sketch book and guache. Her drawings and colors are a delight.

Of course these eleven (I couldn't stop at ten) are only a drop in the bucket of the MANY talented artists I follow. Maybe you will want to follow them too. In the infinity of the internet I am grateful there is room for everyone!